SEVENTEEN:
DETERMINING WHO WE REALLY ARE
© Copyright 2022, Edward R. Close, PhD
“That whereof we cannot speak, thereof we must remain
silent.” - Ludwig Wittgenstein
This is one of my favorite quotes from Wittgenstein’s
Tractatus. There certainly are a variety of reasons why there are many
things of which one cannot speak, but that doesn’t mean that those things are
not important. On the contrary, often they are very important. And I think it
is appropriate to begin this post by paraphrasing Wittgenstein’s famous quote
in this way:
Things of which we cannot speak,
because words are completely inadequate,
thereof we must remain silent. But, conscious of their truth, we must point
to their existence with the best analogy we can muster.
I think the reader will understand why and how this
paraphrase is appropriate in the context of this post.
A prerequisite for solving the problems of spiritual
awakening mentioned in the last post is knowing exactly who you are. “Who are
you?” is not a trivial question in the context of these discussions, and
answering it properly is not a trivial task. Most people, when asked who they
are, provide an answer like “I am a teacher, a writer, a computer programmer, a
sales person, a mother, a senior citizen, … whatever that person’s current
occupation or role in this life may be. This kind of answer is encouraged more
than ever in today’s toxic culture of “identity politics”, where those who want
to control you think they can do so by demanding that you conform to the
standards of a specific group that they define so that they can either control
you, or in some way eliminate you. This kind of shallow identification is not
what we are talking about here.
Determining who you really are is done by a consciousness
focusing process that I have referred to in earlier posts as “Self-Inquiry”.
The logic of Self-Inquiry is a process of sequential elimination of
non-essential identifications, allowing you to move deeper and deeper into the
heart of consciousness, until only one thing is left: the essence of your
existence. The process is analogous to the mathematical process of infinite
descent, a method of proof developed by the French mathematician Pierre de
Fermat. It shouldn’t be too surprising that the process of Self-Inquiry is
analogous to the mathematical process of the quantum calculus of transcendental
physics and TDVP, that led to the discovery of gimmel, because the nature of
the end result in both cases, is the same: Discovery of the non-physical
essence of reality.
In the quantum calculus of dimensional distinctions,
expressions describing quantum phenomena, are nine-dimensional Diophantine
equations (equations whose real-world solutions are quantal). They are called
Diophantine equations in honor of Diophantus of Alexandria, who introduced the
concept around 255 AD. The method of infinite descent was developed in modern
times by Pierre de Fermat about 1635 for the purpose of identifying solvable
Diophantine equations. And the application of the method to analyze the
combination of quarks to form protons resulted in the discovery of the
non-physical essence of reality present in every stable atom was first
accomplished by this author in 2011 and amplified in co-authored works with Dr.
V.M. Neppe during the next few years. In this post, we shall see that
application of the method of infinite descent in the form of Self-Inquiry
results in the discovery of the non-physical essence of consciousness.
Diophantus and Fermat are just two of many evolved souls who
reincarnated from past periods of higher mental virtue from time to time,
specifically to help humanity survive the dark ages of materialism. As we go on
in this series of posts, we will see how all things are intimately and
ultimately connected by the all-encompassing field of the non-physical essence
of reality, revealed in the logical process of infinite descent, the analytical
method of the last apex of conscious reality in the cycles of solar time, in
12,501 BC. More about this later. For now, let’s get back to the process of
determining who we really are.
Let’s suppose that you are a carpenter. Have you always been
a carpenter? No. After you retire from a lifetime of building things, are you
still a carpenter? No. The point is that the word carpenter is inadequate to
describe the real you. You existed before you were a carpenter, and you still
exist when you are no longer a carpenter. The word “carpenter” is not you, it’s
only a useful role you play for a certain period of time. Replace the
descriptor carpenter with butcher, baker, or candlestick maker, - anything –
and the result is the same: remove the name and the activity, and you still
exist.
Now let’s move a little deeper. Each of us identifies
intimately with our own physical body and its relationship to a certain line of
souls reaching all the way back into the completely forgotten past. Your body
consists of a combination of complex interacting semi-autonomous organic
structures, formed and stabilized by gimmel in the same way that Primary
Consciousness forms and stabilizes all atomic structures including organic
lifeforms. At this point in time, most people believe that they are the
physical body, no more and no less. But is this true, or just a belief arising
from life-long identification, similar to the identification with a profession
or any other group of sentient beings, like a profession or a family?
There is a growing body of empirical evidence strongly
suggesting that individualized consciousness survives the physical destruction
of the body it inhabits. In fact, there is a wealth of very convincing
observations and data, from both scientific experiment and personal experience
that I have gathered and written about, proving that individualized
consciousness is immortal, existing before physical birth and after the death
of the physical body. However, I am not going to take up valuable time and
space here repeating details of that evidence because most of you who are
likely to read this, already know about this evidence. For further information
on this subject, see the works of Dr. Ian Stevenson of the University of
Virginia, Dr. Vernon Neppe of the Pacific Neuropsychiatric Institute, Dr. Gary
E. Schwartz of the University of Arizona, Dr. Jeffrey Mishlove of New Thinking
Allowed, Dr. Alan Ross Hugenot, Publications of the Academy for the Advancement
of Postmaterialist Sciences. and many more.
The purpose of this blogpost is not to convince anyone that
consciousness exists independent of the physical bodies it temporarily
occupies. That is simply a fact that everyone will eventually experience. The
purpose of this post is to present a cogent picture of the comprehensive model
of reality we call TDVP and suggest practical applications within the context
of TDVP that can help those who are ready to expand their own individual
consciousness beyond material identification, and farther, for those who have
already experienced OBEs or NDEs. To that end, let’s continue this exploration
of Self-Inquiry.
Because of intense identification with the ephemeral
physical bodies that we inhabit during this lifetime, and the trauma of birth,
physical life, and death, we almost completely forget who and what we really
are. To regain that lost memory, we have to reverse our attention and abandon
our hypnotic fascination with physical stimuli. We must turn the spotlight of
our mental focus around from the distracting events in the world, events that
are beyond our control, to the ever-existing multi-dimensional field of
consciousness to discover who we really are. This is a lot easier to say than
it is to do! This deliberate turning around from the singular focus on our
involvement with the material world, to focus on the pure consciousness of the
spiritual world, is identical from an objective point of view, with repenting
in the Biblical sense. See Revelation 2:3–5:
And you have perseverance and have endured for My
name’s sake and have not grown weary. But I have this against you,
that you have left your first love. Therefore, remember from where you have
fallen, and repent …
While you may not
remember it, every one of us now alive has actually asked to be born. We choose
to brave the temporary pains of birth and death again and again, in order to
experience physical existence, and we forget that our “first love” was the
Infinite Love we experienced in Pure Consciousness, the place from whence we
fell.
The proper frame of
mind for effective Self-Inquiry is one of alert attention, free of imaginary
expectations and random thoughts. Most of the prayerful meditation techniques
taught in the various spiritual traditions are designed for calming the mind so
that we may connect with the transcendental reality of Pure Consciousness, so
prayerful meditation is the best way to prepare for Self-Inquiry. But for anyone
who does not already have a well-established meditation practice, I would like
to suggest the following: Start by making yourself as comfortable as you
possibly can, avoiding the position you habitually assume for sleep. As you
probably know, distracting localized physical discomforts are sure to arise,
but they can be mitigated by alternately tensing and relaxing the muscle or
muscle group involved.
The next two steps
are very important. They are simple and easy to describe, but difficult to
accomplish: First, withdraw your attention completely from everything
outside of your skin, especially including sensations on the surface of your
skin. Difficult? Yes, but absolutely achievable. You already know it is
achievable because it happens every time you go to sleep. You just have to
learn to do it without going to sleep. Second: Focus with increasing intensity
on feeling the reality of your existence within the world encompassed by your
skin, from head to foot, in all your body’s cells. It is helpful to study
anatomy and learn where every organ, bone, and muscle is located in your body.
This is not absolutely necessary for successful Self-Inquiry but will make the
process easier to master.
It is likely, when
first attempting this, that as you try to intensify the feeling of conscious
existence within the boundaries of you own skin, you will find yourself tensing
certain muscles in your hands, feet, jaws, neck, and stomach as part of the
effort. Avoid this. It will block your progress into Self-Inquiry. As soon as
you realize that you are tensing up as part of attempting to increase the
intensity of your awareness, back off, relax those muscles, and refocus on the
simple awareness of existence. In this
way, as you intensify your focus on the existence of consciousness, you will be
able to disconnect mental effort from physical effort.
When you are fully focused on the reality of your conscious
existence, in this relaxed, alert state, you are ready to initiate conscious
Self-Inquiry. Notice that the rhythmic movements of air in and out of your
lungs, and of blood circulating throughout your body, will begin to slow down
and become more natural and regular. Notice also, that your body, a complex
combination of symbiotic living organisms with which you were identified,
continues to function very well without your conscious involvement.
When you have successfully completed the steps of infinite
descent described above, you will have moved beyond shallow identification with
the temporary roles and titles of earthly life, including name, family,
profession, position in society, etc., and you will have repented of your love
affair with the external world by withdrawing the energies of your conscious attention
from it and focusing them on the conscious life existing within your physical
body. And finally, you will have realized that you are not actually part of the
complex of organisms that make up the physical body.
At this juncture, it may seem that you are left with only
two options, both of which appear to end badly. You can continue the descent,
in a very real sense, into the bowels of the physical body, descending from the
largest organ to the smallest organ, to the largest complex molecule, to the
smallest molecule, to the largest cell, to the smallest cell, to the most
complex stable atom to the simplest atom, and on to nothingness, without ever
finding out who or what you are. Or you can just return to the vicinity of the surface
of your skin, where “the wages of sin is death.” – Romans 6:23.
The conclusion in either case is that
there is no such thing as consciousness. But consciousness is the only that
thing we experience directly. How can it not exist? So, we have reached a Reductio
ad absurdum, and I can hear Niels Bohr saying: “Hvor vidunderligt! Vi
har et paradoks! Nu kan vi måske gøre nogle fremskridt!” How wonderful! We have a paradox! Now perhaps we can make some
progress! And I agree! In fact, I am happy to report that the paradox has
already been resolved. To understand how, we must go back to the next-to-last
step of the descent traced through the organs, cells, molecules, and atoms
above. That smallest atom happens to be the simplest atom, the ionized hydrogen
atom, also known as the proton.
The proton, composed of two up-quarks
and one down quark, is the most stable object in the physical universe. In
2011, I applied the dimensional quantum calculus I had developed in 1986 to the
quark combination to determine why it takes three quarks to form a proton, and
why the result is so stable. To my surprise, I discovered that the proton could
not be stable, and wouldn’t have the mass it has, unless there were several
quanta of something non-physical present in each of the quarks. This became the
basis of the mathematical-physics proof of the existence of gimmel, the
non-physical third quantized essence of reality. The paradox is resolved when
we realize that consciousness is non-physical and non-physical gimmel is the
logical end result of Self-Inquiry.
Here, at last, we see that the infinite descent to gimmel,
the non-physical essence of reality that makes the stable proton and the
physical world possible, and the infinite descent into the essence of what you
and I really are, is actually the same journey! The first is a description of
the journey in symbols of mathematical logic, while the latter is a description
of the actual direct experience of making a personal journey into the essence
of consciousness.
I am very much aware of the fact that understanding
something intellectually after hearing or reading about it, and actually
experiencing it for yourself, are two entirely different things. I have written
about the discovery of gimmel and the process of Self-Inquiry before, both on this
blogsite and in peer-reviewed papers and other publications. Both Dr. Neppe and
I have speculated that gimmel must be related to consciousness for a variety of
reasons, but in this post, I am saying something quite different:
In this post, I am saying that the quantum-physics
infinite-descent demonstration that proves that gimmel exists, is actually a
mathematical analog of the first-person infinite-descent process of
Self-Inquiry that proves that consciousness exists. Gimmel and individual
awareness exist as finite quantized forms of the essence of consciousness
embedded in the infinitely continuous field of Primary Consciousness, and you
have access to that field. Everything that exists is immersed in it, and you
become aware of it through the process of Self-Inquiry.
The structural forms that make up physical reality are finite
logical patterns that exist in the infinitely continuous field of Primary
Consciousness, and the laws of form that govern those patterns to be discovered
by sentient beings like us, are the natural laws of science.
In future posts, I plan to discuss questions 2 and 3 listed
at the end of Part Sixteen.
ERC – 3/25/2022
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